Love is not done… It happens

Love is not done… It happens

9^th Feb 12

As I am away from her and India for 3 months and I had no option other than concentrating on my work, so i had  kept a routine for myself to keep me busy..
Roz raat ko after watching a movie I try to sleep but today,  I was unable to sleep..

. Expectations!

 The reason why I was feeling so lonely was that the time to go back and meet her was coming closer....I am spending more and more time thinking about everything, everyone. What would happened in future, this 3 months was a very big time and i was feeling this gap more because i was away from her. .. the love of my life..
 What I’ll do when I go back? When ill meet her?  When ill go from Mumbai to Delhi and meet everyone in my family... would i be able to tell them about her.....

 I see various examples of people who have got married to those they loved. Sometimes I think what my life would be, if I get married to the person I love, would it be good bad or what. I am not in a position to decide upon it but when I think seriously about it, it makes me worried. Worried that what would happen if she decides that I am not able to modify my requirements according to her thinking and it can’t work anymore. Or what if  I decide that she might not do justice to the required scenario in my life and with my family. In both the cases I would feel very bad and I am sure she would also miss me, maybe for some time.. some days .. but yes she would. I want her to be happy. If she finds a suitable person better than me, more loving more caring than me, then might be she should go for him. And who knows that I am loving? who knows I am caring? or ill be caring in future? Right now when I am running behind her that might be the reason that I feel that I am ready to do anything for her, but maybe tomorrow when she is mine I might not be able to do justice to the relation, I might not remain so calm to her words, I might not be so humble to react in the same way to her angry or moody behaviour as I do now. Whenever I have asked her that what does she likes in me she is unable to answer.. Same goes with me, if someone questions me today that whats that quality in her that I am so into her, even I would not be able to answer.. there is nothing from her side which can encourage me to develop feelings for her… but I think that’s why its said… Love is not done… It happens…J